Stanford rapist: 'I've been shattered by the party culture'

The Stanford University swimming star convicted of raping an unconscious woman outside a fraternity party told his sentencing judge he was "shattered by the party culture" during his four-month stint as a student at the iconic school.

The Guardian  obtained and published a section of Brock Turner’s full statement to Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge Aaron Persky. Turner sought probation but last week received a six-month jail term that has been criticized as too lenient.

Turner, now 20, acknowledges he is the "sole proprietor of what happened" on the infamous January 2015 night. Most of the excerpt discusses the impact on him rather than his 23-year-old victim. He says his dreams are haunted by the physical and emotional damage he did to her.

"During the day, I shake uncontrollably from the amount I torment myself by thinking about what has happened," he says. "I can barely hold a conversation with someone without having my mind drift into thinking these thoughts. They torture me. I go to sleep every night having been crippled by these thoughts to the point of exhaustion."

Turner blames his "poor decisions" on binge drinking and "sexual promiscuity," which he in turn blames on peer pressure.

Dad to dad: Open letter blasts father of Stanford rapist

Judge under fire in Stanford rape case gets new term

"I want to demolish the assumption that drinking and partying are what make up a college lifestyle," he says. "I made a mistake, I drank too much, and my decisions hurt someone. But I never ever meant to intentionally hurt (her)."

Turner says he never wants to drink again and pledges to never again get into legal trouble. He says he has lost reputation, his chance to graduate from Stanford and to swim in the Olympics. He says he wants to be "a voice of reason" when it comes to alcohol and is determined to prove he can be a "positive influence on society."

"There isn’t a second that has gone by where I haven’t regretted the course of events I took on January 17th/18th," Turner says. "My shell and core of who I am as a person is forever broken from this. I am a changed person."