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36°
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NEWSROOM * CIRCULATION * ADVERTISING
Wednesday
March 2010
10
Community Blogs
A Tosa resident for more than 15 years, Karen is a stay-at-home mom with two children who enjoys writing and playing tennis. She spends the fall and winter in the stands at Green Bay Packer and Marquette basketball games.
Karen is the former community columnist for the Wauwatosa NOW newspaper.
Facebook and Faux Friendships
The other day, I received an e-mail from an old friend and I realized that Facebook is muddling up my concept of friendship. She said she hadn’t heard from me in a while and wondered what was going on. I was confused. Hadn’t she seen the photos from our recent 25th anniversary vacation? Didn’t she know that we missed our son but he was doing well on the West Coast or that our daughter was enjoying being in the performing arts in her school? Of course not – my friend isn’t on Facebook. That’s when it hit me - lately I’ve been spending more time with my Facebook friends than my real friends. Sigh.
As you may know, I am a proponent of “social networking.” I think that despite their flaws, Facebook and Twitter are not the devils in disguise. Sure, they’re not perfect, but they have their good points.
For instance, our son lives 3,000 miles away. We’re not big phone talkers in our family. In fact, I generally dislike talking on the phone for long periods of time. We prefer passive communication. Thanks to Facebook, I feel at least semi-connected to my son and his daily activities. I know a little about how he interacts with his friends and how he keeps busy in his spare time. I like that.
And thanks to Twitter, I was able to spend a grand total of 5 minutes hearing about and then dismissing the media blitz surrounding “Balloon Boy.” As I’ve also mentioned in the past, I don’t like to watch television news. I do like to hear about so-called major stories, but I detest the rehashing of events ad nauseum. (Maybe that’s why I like the printed newspaper. I can read the story and then turn the page.) Anyway, on that overhyped day, I signed on to Twitter and saw several anxious “tweets” about the boy and the balloon. I was quickly able to figure out what happened and then move on. CNN rarely lets you do that. Thanks, Twitter.
I’ll be honest, Facebook IS addicting…but it’s also fairly benign. I generally check in every morning after I read the newspaper. I like to see responses to my own “posts” or new comments and links that others have posted. It’s a pleasant diversion, but I’m realizing that I need to devote equal attention to the “analog world.” I need to reconnect with my offline friends lest they feel ignored.
Don't get me wrong, the people I've met on Facebook and Twitter are nice...really nice! I've even found some old friends via these sites. But I realized that I'm getting lazy and not spending enough time with people that have known me my entire life.
So I’m making a conscious effort to get my head out of the laptop and interact one-on-one with friends and family. For a self-described impatient and passive communicator, this will be a challenge. I’ll have to spend some time on the phone or maybe sit down in person with people. Hope they don’t figure out that I’m not nearly as interesting in person as I am on Facebook!
So true Karen! Facebook is easy, affordable and just mindless entertainment. It does take a little more effort to go out into the real world sometimes. But it is always rewarding when you do!
I recently had a conversation (following a High School Class Reunion) about old friends and GOOD friends. While it's nice to see and visit with OLD friends, it's the GOOD friends that share the day-to-day good and bad, happy or sad events. They can be the ones to really talk to about things that are important NOW in our lives. Our old HS friends can become GOOD friends over time (many of them have), but to simply rehash old HS stories does not necessarily make someone a GOOD friend.
Facebook is a great social tool for keeping in touch with others, but I do not recommend sharing ALL of life's experience simply through the website. There are things that are still best shared in person (or at least in a private phone call or email.)
I've realized that college really brings out the best and worst in facebook. It's such an easy way to stay in touch with high school friends and it's great seeing pictures of what they're doing wherever they are around the country. The problem is that the time I spend looking at these pictures could probably be better spent writing the two papers I have to do this week. Oops.
- The Holiday Outdoor Decorating Police
- Acceptance - The College Application Game
- Uniform Trick-or-Treat a Sweet Waste of Time
- Checkout Charity, Parking Protection and the Write Stuff
- The Secret of Christmas
- Facebook and Faux Friendships
- Feeling chilly? Why not get All Shook Up?!
- Simply Stupid
- Growing Old with Brett Favre
- Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word
Tags: The Online World
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