A Tosa resident for almost 20 years, Karen is a mom and freelance writer, addicted to playing tennis. When not on the tennis court, she spends the fall and winter in the stands at Green Bay Packer and Marquette basketball games.
Karen is the author of “Grab a Bite,” a dining out column and the former community columnist for the Wauwatosa NOW newspaper.
I spend more than my fair share of time on the internet. I do not take great pride in this fact, and yet, I’d like to think there has been some benefit. And so, without further adieu, I present to you some of the things that I’ve learned from the internet:
There is some connection between Oprah and weight loss (Acai Berries!), which is ironic, because they seem a little contradictory.
The Snuggie is very popular. I can see why. If I had a nickel for every time I tried to reach for a remote and my darn blanket got in the way of my hands, I’d have 10 cents.
There is not really a lot of religion on the internet. It’s there, but not so much in your face. It seems a shame, really. I’m really intrigued by the idea of Jesus having a Facebook page. Just imagine his status: “Jesus is…everywhere – duh!”
Teens on the internet tell you that things are important by adding extra letters. For instance: “Courtney rockssssssssssssssssssssss!”
The internet has nothing to do with spelling, grammar or capitalization. If you’re looking for them there, stop right now.
People on the internet love lists: The Top 10 Vacation Spots, The 10 Most Popular Jobs, 25 Random Things About Me.
Twitter is there so people can tell you constantly what is on their mind. More often than not, things we don’t need to know. Example: “I had a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast.” (I just “tweeted” this and 8 people will read about it. Yawn.)
Anger on the internet is expressed in capital letters: I CAN’T BELIEVE MY DRYER BROKE AGAIN! If only the real world were like this. Imagine the lives saved.
There are more blogs than there are people on the internet. And yes, that includes me. I have three. Some people hate this.
If it happens in New York, it matters. Seriously, it snows like crazy here, but give New York 12 inches and you’d think the world ended.
There are many ways to get somewhere. Mapquest, Yahoo Maps and Google Maps will send you in entirely different directions to get to the same place.
We love bad news. How else to explain our obsession with Rihanna and Chris Brown, Britney Spears, Caylee and Michael Phelps?
We will take time to watch stupid things, like cats riding vacuum cleaners.
We are in a lot of pain and there are a lot of so-called cures for what ails us.
People are gullible and want to help, which is why they forward e-mails of horrifying attacks and what to do about them.
We love a good rummage sale, a.k.a. eBay and Craig’s List.
Discussion Boards should really be called Argument Boards.
Apparently, there is a LOT of sexual dysfunction out there.
It is possible that the internet has made cookbooks obsolete. Honestly, you can get a recipe for ANYTHING online.
We love it when celebrities get fat.
If you think it, you can search it.
The internet is all about superlatives – most, best, least, biggest, smallest….ad infinitum.
The economy is failing because everyone is on the internet. I’m signing off now to go shopping…in a real store.
What did YOU learn on the internet?