Gas Pains

Liver and Onions

Posted by Tom Gaertner on Aug. 29, 2010 | 5 comments

Family, Terrific Cooking

When it comes to life’s simple pleasures it is hard to beat a soak in the hot tub, a good cigar or liver and onions.

I don’t know about the rest of you but I happen to like sautéed calves’ liver with onions served with crispy bacon.

And when dining out this is one of those dishes where I invoke 'The Home Cooking Rule'.

The Home Cooking Rule?  What the heck is that all about?

'The Rule' is simple.

When you go out to eat and you are perusing the menu with a tub of your favorite adult beverage you rule-out all of the things that you are capable of preparing and eating at home. Therefore you restrict your choices to those items that are unique or difficult to prepare.  My hypothesis is that this makes your entrée selection easier to come-by as well as extending your dining pleasure and dollar.

For instance, Jill and I took her mom out to dinner tonight for Ma’s birthday.  We’re looking at the menu and I see stuff like steaks, chicken, chops and grilled ahi tuna.  These are easy to dismiss since I can readily prepare these dishes at home just about any time I feel like it.

Then I noticed...

Baby Beef Liver.

I have never prepared liver and onions.  Which is odd since I happen to like it.  The result is that I have a habit of ordering it from time to time when we dine out.  However, this habit is accompanied by a couple of curious problems.

First, liver is the equivalent of a cholesterol bomb made all the more dangerously unstable by explosive quantities of fat.  I can rationalize this matter by simply reminding myself of the abundant quantities of vitamins that I figure negate many of the negative attributes of something that tastes this good. 

Furthermore, I can either limit my intake or consume a half a handful of statins when I return home.

The second problem is that as a menu item it is pretty much hit and miss. The honest truth is that most restaurants do a mediocre job of this dish. With the delicacy probably being too thick, overcooked or simply not fresh enough.  Calf’s liver is often abused.

I turn to our server – Hey. I like liver. Can you assure me that your liver is fresh and delicately prepared?

She taps me on the shoulder and intones – Listen.  We sell so much of it that it’s always fresh. It happens to be a local favorite.  It must be great. Right?

I glance about the dining room quickly calculating the average age of the diners and the demographics (if you know what I mean) and announce – I’ll have it.  Medium please.

Let me tell you – when it arrived on the platter it was sliced exceptionally thin yet still served pink in the middle.  Piled on top was a mound of mouth-watering sweet onions and bacon.  Aux gratin potatoes on the side. 

I dive right-in. 

Ma and Jill are watching me.

So it’s that good, eh?

Ooooh baby! Wanna taste? – I mutter between mouthfuls.

They declare it awesome.

This had to be some of the best fare I’ve had in a great long time.

If you don’t mind a drive check-out the Butler Inn of Pewaukee.

Since the smoking ban we’ve been dining-out more frequently. Maybe I should start publishing restaurant reviews.

Anyone know where can I get my liver fix in Tosa?